5 Reasons You Should Still Care About Cannibals

“M&M’s are all different colors on the outside, just like us. But they all taste the same. This is an important lesson for people: specifically, cannibals.” – Taylor Swift 1989

These are M&M's

Like Taylor Swift they will melt your heart, not your hands.

As I listened to Taylor Swift’s new album 1989, and pondered these lyrics, it really got me thinking about cannibals.

Now the word cannibal comes from the word Canibales which was the Spanish name for the Caribs, a West Indies tribe that formerly practiced cannibalism. (courtesy Wikipedia)

But it sounds almost exactly like the word cannon ball. I know it’s not much of an issue now but it must have been a real issue for early explorers.

Magellan Arrives

Are you sure stopping here is a good idea? I hear it’s dangerous.

Nonsense. I’m told it’s loaded with cannon balls.

Well, I guess you can never have too many of those. Let’s go.

I know that was a long time ago. But what about Mariah Carey?

Mariah Carey is not a cannibal

not a cannibal

Yes. Mariah Carey. Specifically, what about Nick Cannon’s balls? When they were married I know I often thought, “Wow. I guess we know who has Nick Cannon’s balls.”

Even though they are divorced, I can still imagine her on some tropical vacation.

I am going to chase so many waterfalls. In your Face T-Boz

I am going to chase so many waterfalls. In your Face T-Boz

And someone saying something, something cannibals and she hears something, something Nick Cannon’s balls.

Now a lot of you are probably thinking, “So what? Has she really done anything decent since Rainbow in 1999?” (obviously not counting All I Want For Christmas (Is You)

Fine. So we let Mariah Carey go. But what about how much cannibal sounds like cannabis?

woah

woah

So, yeah. How often have you heard this?

I don’t know. I thought we were all going to get high. Then they ate Steve.

So, in conclusion, listen carefully.

If you’re thinking, that was not 5 reasons, perhaps you can help by leaving a good reason in the comments.

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