7 Awkward Conversations – featuring Aquaman


A lot of people make fun of Aquaman but I think he’s one of the big three. Right up there with Superman and Batman. And yes 71% of the world is covered by water so technically he has a much bigger territory than other superheroes. But I think there is not as much ocean based crime as you might think. So, I think Aquaman probably spends a lot of time standing (swimming?) around making small talk with fish.


I’m not saying it’s bad whalesong, I’m just saying I prefer their early stuff.



So, when you say you feel like sushi, you mean it in a more metaphysical sense.

What else would you mean? Nothing. I’m just saying that’s what I thought you meant.



When have you ever heard me say anything besides Orca? I never use the k word. I understand that it’s okay if you say it. That you’re part of the community. Oh sure I might have said Killah Whale but that’s not the same thing.



I need your help finding a lost ship. Why do you keep asking me what I had for dinner? Oh. I’m still wearing the bib. Yeah, this is awkward.



No, I’ve never tried krill. No, I hear it’s amazing.


I guess if you consider the entire ocean your home than yes I’ve gone to the bathroom in, ‘your home’. But you just took a shit on my kitchen floor. No, it is different.


You want to take a selfie with me? A shelfie? No, I get it. Because you’re a shellfish. Are you sure this iPhone 6 Plus is waterproof? No, look it’s ruined. I didn’t do anything to it. Do you have any rice? No I’m not talking about making a tasty jambalaya. I know you didn’t say tasty.  Well, at least you didn’t bend it.


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